I have been surrounded by narcissists, psychopaths and machiavellian characters from the moment I got out of my mother’s womb. For many years, narcissistic abuse was the predominant emotional language I knew to respond to, although I could never understand or speak it myself. It only took several near-death incidents to get me this far, but what can I say? Life is an unfair imp, and it likes throwing punches at me. So there’s that.
The people who recommended that I create this platform at this stage of my treatment followed their recommendation with a set of wise guidelines. I can’t afford to jeopardize the progress we’ve made so far, so I must use a pseudonym in our communications, for my name you are not allowed to know. What about ‘Isabelle’?
‘Hello, I am Isabelle.’
I like how that sounds when spoken aloud. I also like that it is French because that’s what I am—partly. I have a somewhat mixed background; I have been called a Global Citizen a few times (how very woke, I know). You were not supposed to know that detail but well, it’s nothing to write home about so I’ll keep it in.
narcissist | ˈnɑːsɪsɪst |
noun
a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves
Excessive, indeed. I firmly believe that our culture as a whole needs to take a big chill pill. Let’s be happy, not ecstatic. Being happy surely is enough. Let’s be sad, not depressed; afraid, not petrified; hungry, not starving. Let’s love, not adore. Adoring anyone or anything is unhinged, which is why I can’t stand the concept of calling a certain group of people ‘idols.’ If only the fanatics knew what their idols were made of, oh dear.
anti | ˈanti |
preposition
opposed to; against
One thing for which I will gladly set aside the virtues of temperance, however, is hate. Let’s not just dislike, but hate. Not just anyone, but a specific set of people whom I consider the single most obnoxious agents of darkness known to mankind: narcissists.
Yes, I hate narcissists. I am opposed to all the harm these creatures of chaos cause. I am against their reckless and inhumane treatment of everything they come in contact with. But this isn’t about me, it’s about you.
I know you hate them as much as I do. I know you want revenge for how they treated you. I know you can’t stand that they get away with murder, then belittle you. How they talk in circles and manipulate you. That they always make themselves out to be the victims and turn everyone against you. Bastards! That’s what they are.
I know how you feel because I have been put in the unique position of interacting with narcissists on a daily basis in several spheres of influence over a sustained period of time. This makes me well-suited to provide you with insight into the relational dynamics with them at various levels, whether intimate, parental, fraternal, or professional.
Life has dealt me peculiar cards that I initially could only view as pure misery (which it objectively was), tucked under a variety of façades depending on what the moment or season required. At long last, I am finally learning to deal with them. After all, being sorry about yourself can only get you so far. One has got to drag one’s self out of the gutter at one point or another and move on with life. Phew! That took a while.
I’ve learned a lot along the way, and the commencement of my treatment has catapulted my understanding. Now I have an opportunity to turn what has been an abysmal existence into a tool to aid and encourage others who may have gone, or are currently going, through a similar hell.
Whilst the most decent thing to do in this introductory article would be to give you a few details about me to establish a rapport of trust in our communications, I won’t. But I also won’t underestimate your intelligence. I know you would be capable of forming a picture of my life on your own using implication, deduction and common sense. In fact, I have an idea.
Talking about the narcissistic abuse is doleful and triggering enough, we ought to make it fun, don’t we? So I challenge you to profile me using the hints I will be dropping in articles over the forthcoming weeks and months. Put on your sleuth’s hat, and as you read on, keep this challenge at the back of your mind. You can share your observations and theories in the comments at any time—starting here and now.
Have you come up with a theory already? I doubt you have based on so little information but again, I am not one to underrate anybody’s brainpower. Well then, what are you waiting for?
Welcome to Antinarc — Against Narcissists
This is where we join hands to oppose the devil’s lieutenants. This is where we effectively go against the agents of destruction plaguing our lives. This is where you enrol on your quest to disarm the narcissist.
— Isabelle
Banner Image: Medieval Woman in Armor by Robert Salanitro.